I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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