Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
