Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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