On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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