Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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