I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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