hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
