i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
