ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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