Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
