then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have aggressive nipples.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
