Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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