I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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