We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
