at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
