You really coming over, don't trick.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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