I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Holy sore nipples Batman
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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