New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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