He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
