you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
