so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize