ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
