Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
