Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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