I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
