That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
