she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
