I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
