im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
