You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
