Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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