Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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