Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
