Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
