I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
