I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
