A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
