Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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