After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
