I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
