ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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