what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
