went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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