He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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