Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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