oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
