If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So much rum. So many feels.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
