I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My life is pants optional.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
