If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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