The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
