I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
